


An Unwilling Voyeur

by scarecrowstories



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Awkwardness, Boys Kissing, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-05-20 05:12:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19370284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarecrowstories/pseuds/scarecrowstories
Summary: Sometimes being stuck in the umbrella without Taako knowing she existed meant Lup had to witness some extremely personal scenes that had her cringe with how awkward she felt. It was gonna be a hell of a time when he finally remembered her...





	An Unwilling Voyeur

**Author's Note:**

> I know this may be a bit of an unconventional piece but for real, how weird must it have been for Lup? I wanted to try to capture that Cringey awkwardness but also her joy at just having her dang bro back!!

One of the weirdest parts of being stuck in the umbra staff was how voyeuristic it got sometimes. It had taken years to be able to consistently maintain awareness of her surroundings, and now that she had, Lup couldn't exactly turn that feature off. This wasn't necessarily a problem while stuck in the cave, and at first she didn't think it would be once Taako had found her, but it started to feel creepy after the first week of constant surveillance.

He didn't even remember her! And here she was, watching him go through his morning routine and aching to join him. He was completely unbothered by her absence because he had no clue what was missing, and somehow that hurt her more. When he fumbled with an earring, Lup wanted to shout that this is why he always asked for her help with them. 

"How do I look?" he said to the mirror, checking out his outfit for the day. Lup answered from within her prison, even though he wouldn't hear. She knew that he was asking her, whether he knew it or not; she saw how he avoided mirrors most days, some subconscious part of him stirring at his reflection. He kept it together when others were around, but she saw the panicked glances and shaking shoulders, the tremble in his lips as he scrutinized his face searching for something.

Soon her involuntary surveillance became torture. Sometimes it was in small gestures that implied a deeper hurt: how he stroked the handle of the umbrella as if rubbing a worry-stone, the occasional comments he'd make to it as if speaking to her, the way he stared into the distance if left alone too long. He skipped meals, making excuses to their friends that he would eat later, but Lup knew he wasn't doing that, knew he was throwing up half of what he ate when he did manage to have something.

Other times it got weird in a major way, like the first time she had to be fully aware of him masturbating while the umbrella sat against the wall nearby. Lup wished secondhand embarrassment could kill her so that she could escape the decidedly shitty dorm room her brother was in, jerking off while his roommates were out somewhere. She didn't care about seeing him naked, as that was never an issue; it was about the fact that she couldn't not be aware, and he was shamelessly none the wiser.

Even still, awkward moments aside, there was something thrilling about watching Taako be happy with their friends that nourished a part of Lup she'd almost forgotten existed. She had put together early on that Lucretia was responsible for this, and she wanted so badly to be angry, to hate Lucretia for taking her memory away from Taako. But then she saw him smile. In spite of it all, he could still smile, something that wouldn't be possible if he knew how much of himself was lost.

Watching her brilliantly talented brother be a clumsy clueless fool hurt, but knowing the pain he'd been spared was a small comfort. They'd all been so miserable watching the world kill itself over their creations, and though he pretended to be distant from that hurt, he could never hide it from Lup. She remembered every time he would come to her, collapsing into her arms sobbing at news of destruction his relic had caused. He was inconsolable. They all were.

And yet here he was, smiling.

No, it was probably better this way. Once they fixed things surely Lucretia would let them remember again, and then they could free her and everything would be okay. Aside from her being stuck in her lich form, of course. Let them be spared from the pain of their good intentions until they succeeded.

Even still, the experience wore on her. She wanted desperately to laugh at his jokes with him, give him a high five for a sick burn, compliment his outfits and help him with his makeup. She wanted to hold him after his night terrors, rub his shoulders after a long day, spar against him for his training. Being a passive observer to her brother's life was more than she'd had in a decade, but it was still an incomplete existence. She longed to participate, even if he didn't know who she was.

The moments that tugged at her heart (did she still have a heart?) the most were listening to him talk to Kravitz on their few dates. He sounded so lonely, so grateful for company, so eager for a connection. Lup wished she could shake him by the shoulders and shout that he wasn't alone, that he was so dearly beloved. At the end of one such date, when Taako invited Kravitz back to his place at the moon base, Lup had to wonder if it was possible to be so mortified that she shattered her prison.

"Y'know, bones, I really like spending time with you," Taako said, squeezing Kravitz's hand and trying to hide a shy smile. They were walking across the campus in the cool night air. "It's always been just me looking out for myself, and, like, this is a nice change of pace."

Kravitz nodded. "I know what you mean. I'm not the only reaper, but it's not like I'm close to my coworkers. We're all pretty solitary people. I don't think I've gotten close to anyone besides my Queen since I died." At that, he also averted his gaze, hiding a similarly shy smile. 

Lup wanted to yell at the two of them to stop being dorks and kiss already; they hadn't yet, and this was their fourth date! Was it weird of her to be so invested in this? She just wanted to see Taako happy and loved, the way he deserved. Sure, Kravitz had spoken about sensing a lich and that had scared her, and sure, she would have incinerated him if Taako hadn't stopped her, but he was starting to grow on her. He was a touch awkward, incredibly polite, and genuine in a way she knew was Taako's type.

"That's a long time," Taako commented. "I've never really been close to anyone until I met these chucklefucks." Hearing how casually he accepted his own solitude felt like a physical blow to Lup; then he continued. "I had my cooking show, and that was nice, all the applause and celebrity worship, you know. It always felt kinda empty, not gonna lie, but I loved it anyway. Then things went kind of south in a major way."

"What happened?" Kravitz asked, sliding his arm around Taako's shoulder. Lup was grateful to see how easily Kravitz reached to comfort Taako. She'd heard Taako talk about Glamour Springs once before, and wasn't eager to hear it again. 

Luckily, it seemed Taako wasn't willing to tell it again at the moment. "Not tonight, if that's okay," Taako said, opening the door to the appropriate dome. "Let's just have some fun and forget about all of that other shit for a bit." Taako smirked as he led Kravitz down the hall, delighting in the awkward stammering of his boyfriend (were they officially going steady yet?) trailing behind.

As soon as the door was shut, Taako made a hushing motion towards Kravitz and ran to check if Magnus and Merle were home. "Okay, all clear homie, come on back," he called, waving Kravitz down the hall towards his bedroom. He leaned the umbra staff against the back of the closed door, which Lup had mixed feelings about. On the one hand if Kravitz tried to pull anything funny she might have enough energy saved up for a blast to buy Taako some time. But on the other hand…

The two were sitting on the edge of Taako's bed, hands stiffly folded in their respective laps. "So," Kravitz began, gaze averted. "This apartment is really nice. I'll have to bring you to my place next time."

"Oh, already thinking of a next time, my man?" Taako's body language shifted from nervous to flirtatious, something which Lup would have teased him about if she could. Immediately his tension melted away at hearing that Kravitz was thinking about spending more time with him. What a sap. "If I kiss you, will you still want there to be a next time?" he murmured, leaning towards the other man.

Kravitz smiled back, muttering something that sounded sweet, and closed the distance to kiss Taako. Lup wanted to cheer for him that it was about damn time! She also wanted to somehow fade deeper into the recesses of the umbrella, as she watched the pair of them shift more completely onto the bed to continue making out. Every faint whine and soft moan made her cringe as she thought back to all the times on the Starblaster he was probably able to hear her and Barry.

She heard the two of them whispering gently and tried not to eavesdrop. They deserved privacy, especially since neither of them knew she was there or existed at all. She thought she heard the word "love" a few times as she watched them tenderly stroke one another's face, entranced in the way that only new lovers can be.

Just as Lup was seriously considering trying to magically suppress her consciousness to avoid having to watch her brother have sex, Kravitz sat up with a jolt. Fuck. Had he sensed her again? Her annoyance faded, replaced by panic. If she was found, the implications of her lich form confronting a brother who didn't remember her were too painful to consider. As much as she wanted to be by his side more than anything, it would unmake her to hear him say to her face that he didn't know her.

"I'm sorry, Taako, I don't want to move too fast," Kravitz said, to Lup's utter shock, blushing and fidgeting. "I meant it, though, I-I think I love you, I really do. I just--"

"Hey, it's okay," Taako said without hesitation, sitting up and taking Kravitz's hands into his own. "I get it. You're a handsome fella, and you're also, y'know, literally Death, so you gotta be careful where you put your heart. Or whatever it is you have." He placed soft kisses across his knuckles.

"You're not disappointed?" Kravitz asked, so heartfelt that Lup wanted to tear up. Of course he was worried about that.

Taako leaned in to kiss Kravitz again, positively glowing when they separated. "I am, but I'm not gonna force you to say or do anything you're not comfortable with. I'd be a shitty boyfriend if I made it all about me all the time. I know I goof a lot, but yeah. I wanna do right by you, my dude. You deserve it." 

Wow, Lup thought. She'd never seen Taako make himself vulnerable so readily in front of anyone who wasn't from their crew, and even then it took a few decades for him to open up. He must like Kravitz more than he was letting on, she figured. Either that or some part of him was seeking an outlet for the deep love she knew he harbored so securely. 

Regardless, Lup watched from her prison as her brother and his boyfriend whispered to one another, and she was relieved. Whatever they were saying had them both blushing and giggling, scooting closer to one another until Taako was practically in Kravitz's lap. "This okay?" Taako murmured, releasing a sigh filled with want as Kravitz slid a hand down to squeeze his ass.

She didn't hear Kravitz's response, but caught how Taako's eyes brightened, the slight upturn of his lips. They continued exploring each other's bodies fully clothed, which she was grateful for. It would still be something he felt weird about when he got his memories back, but for the moment, Lup was content to know he was doing well.

Lup tried her best to avert her attention as their clothing came off, hearing them get more vocal as things got more intense. When Taako let out a particularly loud moan, Lup wondered if that's what she sounded like with Barry. Though she wasn't able to completely block out what was happening, she stayed distracted by thoughts of her lover. How often had their friends heard her and Barry and been too polite to mention it?

Perhaps the strangest part of her situation was how close she felt to Taako's new friends despite never having personally interacted with them. He never left the umbra staff behind, something which she wanted to think of as sweet instead of deeply depressing. She was by his side for every moment spent with Angus, and wished she could chastise her brother for his rudeness. For every conversation with Avi, with Carey, with Killian, Lup was there. She felt she knew them as well as Taako did, and they had no idea she even existed.

After the averted apocalypse, Lup didn't bring up to Taako how much she had been aware of. The last thing she wanted was to cause him any additional pain or embarrassment now that they were finally reunited. But in her new body, sharing a bed with her brother for the first time in too long, she was happy to have been there with him. 

He fell asleep first, arm thrown over her waist and head tucked under her chin, leaving her awake to savor their closeness. Ever since he found her she had watched him sleep without being able to comfort him, no matter how desperately she wanted to. The only thing she wanted more had been to fall asleep beside Barry again, and now she finally had both of them back, real and warm and alive. She made a mental note to ask them tomorrow if she could sleep tucked between the both of them, like they would sometimes do back on the Starblaster.

The peaceful rise and fall of Taako's chest against her side was grounding, his physical weight tethering her to this reality that they had the privilege of saving. At long last, the running was over. Though Lup hadn't returned as soon as she'd wanted to when she left that note all those years ago, she was finally home.

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all always say the nicest dang things and I'm so grateful! I'm always open to prompts and suggestions etc!!


End file.
